🔥Rebirth

The Turning Point

The beginning of the end — technically, anyway. Once a crazy idea enters my mind, it grows like fire with excitement. It’s scary and it calls me into action.

this was it.

I wasn’t going to sit there idle, watching life pass me by.

As life was unfolding so was my curiosity. My childlike tendencies returned. I felt alive and reborn and I felt free.

Free to live my life under my terms. My rules. My acceptance. My reality without someone denying it.

I’ve always looked at the world from a different lens that anyone else and I got used to it. I was ok with it. I felt free.

I wanted more out of life then just living mundane. I believe that life is a gift. I gift I appreciate. I did not want to regret anything when the time came to reflect.

When I finally woke up from the dream someone else was dreaming and I was living.

I came to a painful realization that if I wanted different I had to take action. Life rewards action.

I embraced uncertainty and trusted what the universe gave me. I closed my eyes sat in stillness and communicated with source. My childlike imagination took over and what I think I become so I did. I trusted and I acted.

I left — to another country.

I needed space to slow my life down and ask myself the only honest question left:

Now what the fuck? What the actual fuck?

After almost twenty years living a life in a certain way, all of a sudden that world came to an end. I have been here before. I have lost many friends. I have always cherished relationships while they existed but I was already prepared for the end. Nothing lasts for ever. Is a lesson I have leaned to accept.

When you are not contributing or feel that you are not fulfilling someone else’s desires or they are not fun;;filling your’s and you dont take action that you can only Balme yourself.

You can live by chance or by choice. Take a chance and see what happens— or make a choice and know that will happen.

Painful, yes. But clear.

I didn’t realize it then, but when I boarded that plane to Costa Rica, I wasn’t escaping — I was surrendering.

For the first time, I embraced uncertainty without needing to control what came next. No plan. No destination. Just space to breathe and remember who I was beneath the noise.

That trip became my first quiet act of trust — not in circumstances, but in life itself. It was uncomfortable as hell, but that’s where I started to see that uncertainty wasn’t punishment. It was permission.

Turning Inward

So I turned inward.

I started looking for men’s retreats, searching for ways to keep walking the spiritual path I had already begun.

I knew I had more work to do — deep work.

I hired a hypnotherapist and committed to seven sessions that cracked open parts of me I didn’t even know were buried.

The subconscious holds on to what your ego tries to hide — the things that once made you feel safe, but now keep you stuck.

If you want peace, there’s no way around that work.

You have to face the shit you buried.

And that’s exactly what I did.

Whenever I do something, I go all in — and this was no different.

Arriving

I wasn’t running anymore.

I was arriving.

That single truth — that shift — changed everything.

Because endings aren’t failures. They’re awakenings.

And sometimes, you have to lose everything to find you.

🌅 Reflection Prompt

Think back to a time when something ended — a relationship, a dream, a version of yourself.

Did it destroy you, or did it clear space for who you were always meant to become?