#2 Healing your Inner Child
One of the things I learned in my journey is that the work involved is very hard and you try to avoid it. Well wether you were aware or not, I know I wasn’t aware of what I had to resolve and I avoided it by blaming everyone and everything else and I didn’t think about ME being the problem. What I realized was that I am responsible for my own happiness. There is no love out there or no-one to know how to love me better that I can love myself. The point in life is to be enough. To love yourself to a point where anyone else is complimenting your very existence, and you do not need them or their love. The work you have to do is very internal because at the end you know what your problem is and you’re just trying to avoid facing it. Well it’s ok. Or maybe you don’t understand.
Lets start form the beginning. Go back to your childhood. Am I triggering anything? Did you feel loved? Did you feel seen? Were you neglected or ignored? Was there any type of abuse? Were you bullied ? Were you called names ? Were you body shamed? All of these things impacted the way we see ourselves today. As adults. The way we talk to ourselves. That’s what we believe about ourselves. Whenever you are triggered, they are triggering something you believe to be true that you created an action to protect yourself from the pain it made you feel. That is when the “Ego” was born.
The Ego was born to protect that small child that could not handle the various situations that he/she had to deal with in life. The ego resides in the mind. In the logical left side of the brain. The ego only lives to make sense of the world and anticipate and avoid pain. That pain you feel when you get embarrassed or hurt by a loved one or simply trigger you fight or flight response. The ego is a persona that you created to face the world. The key now is to become aware. The only way to become aware is to become conscious as often as you can so that you can then control your mind and ego.
What I mean but that is- think of all the automatic things you do moment by moment. You tell yourself “I need my cup of coffee”. Do you really or is this just one of those automatic things you do every morning because of you don’t want to feel out of whack? That’s what I mean. Right now write as much as you can think of what you do on a daily basis and then be honest with yourself as to how much of that of what you do is is a habit, you’re on auto pilot or you are doing consciously. What I mean by consciously is that you took a moment to process and decide, “I’m hungry. My stomach feels empty”. “I am thirsty, I need a drink”. NOT ”The alarm went off, I usually hit the snooze twice, ok time to go pee now, ok brush the teeth, wash the face, etc.”
One you write your list/schedule down, I want you to go over it and really think of what it is that you do consciously. I want you to be honest because no matter where you are at at this point, this is your beginning of becoming conscious of your life therefore choosing, making life choices versus being on automatic. You see? However you reached a point in your life where you ask yourself “How the fuck did I get here?” That’s the point. No more automatic. It’s time to make conscious choices, beginning with clearing all that fucken baggage that is holding you back from becoming the best version of you by nurturing your inner child and learning to reparent yourself.
So there is where the work begins. First was the physical work. The mediation. The Yoga. The Pranayama. Slowing the mind down. Trying to control your thoughts. Remember the ego only survives if it can think, plan, and organize to keep you safe. It is always looking to the past history to not repeat mistakes and it looks into the future to avoid any pitfalls but the problem with all that is that you are missing where life is. Life is only possible in this very real and only reality that you are creating called “This Moment” also know as “The Present”. So the key in a life that you can actually enjoy and live joyfully is if you are the creator of that life by being present in the moment consciously making decisions as you see life with clarity NOT with the fear your ego is always presenting you with.
A quick nugget. Happiness and what they call “The pursuit” is bullshit”. The way of happiness is to focus on everything you do and do it consciously while you are present and doing something consciously choose to enjoy it and do it joyfully, what you are doing is creating an environment where happiness exists. That my friend is how happiness is created. NOT found, NOT hunted, and definitely NOT pursued. It is the result of your conscious choices. It is not something tangible. It is an environment. That you can control thus live in a constant state of “Happiness”. I hope the makes sense because if it doesn’t now it will soon. That is the point of this site. You just gotta commit and do the work. I am laying things out as easy as I possibly can so that you can be patient while seeing results but I never said it was going to be easy. That’s why the world is in the condition that its in. But you have chosen different. You have chosen to “BECOME!
Wherever you are today you have survived. All of the things you’ve gone through, you are still here. The world you created you are responsible for. Wherever you are it’s ok. The point is you have to become aware and take responsibility. At the end, it’s your life. You are the only one responsible for it. So just be clear on that. No one is to blame. You get what you put in. No matter where you are. Good, Bad, It doesn’t matter. What we are going to do here is Become the best version of ourselves.
Book recommendation. “How to do the work” by Dr. Nicole LePera. I highly recommend you go through the whole process of not only readindg the books (she has a series) and getting the workbook and doing the work. Do not avoid it. It is a must if you want to continue the journey of BECOMING. And what I mean by that is not only read it, process it, journal, let whatever emotions surface without holding back feelings and deal with it. I cried for hours. You will learn just how much trauma your body is holding. It all has to go out. I mean years of this shit we are carrying. Time to let it go. It is holding you back. She also wrote, “How to be the love you seek” and “How to meet yourself”. I highly recommend starting with how to do the work, that will open you up to deal with the others. A companion author is Louis Hay. Depending on how fucked up you are as far as emotional pain you’ve endured that you’ve avoided dealing with, She is a great tool to get through to your soul. She will introduce you to “Mirror Work”. “Love yourself, Heal your life” by Louis Hay. This is the ugly work we have to face. I will talk more about it.