Verona: lesson Learned

I took this project because it was presented at the perfect time hence trusting uncertainty. Were had filed for divorce and were waiting for the last things to get settled before a court date was set and we would go in front of a judge and complete the divorce proceedings making it final.

It came in th right time because although I thought io was fine and managing my emotions, I was also on the brink of WTF! So it distracted me. It also came at the right time and I paid attention and asked what can I learn from this opportunity? Opportunity top travel toItaly. opportunity to recap my Ayuverdic cooking skills. Opportunity to be at a completely different part of the world with a completely different culture and language that for some reason I feel t very comfortable with and quiet at home.

The guy that invited me to go and work with him was not the nicest guy in the world. To the contrary everything about him told me not to go because I was gonna get into it with him because he is such an asshole. Well the little that I knew plus the way he lost his patience with me a couple of times while at the cooking course and the way his past chef stu spoke of him was not admirable. So I had to have a conversation with him and set boundaries that if he even gets close to being an asshole with me I was going to leave. Well it pushed me to the limits of my being. One time he asked if I could arrive early because he had to do some shopping so I went in about 30 minutes earlier and when he finally arrived he questioned what I had done. He says “Is that all you did?” I stood firm as I don’t need to prove shit or kiss your ass you ungrateful asshole. He asked three times in a row. I id not sway. He did not make me lose my place in thought. He did not trigger my old self. I stood there very comfortably responding with a solid Yes! He could not believe his ears. Major win for Oscar because the old Oscar would have either tried to validate and explain my actions or told him to go fuck himself. neither happened. I chilled. I knew right there and then I was a new person.

I also learned to slow down even more. To slow down and make constant moment by moment choices. I thought I was making myself happy but I really sad fucken reality hit me. I thought I was making myself happy by revisiting vey chaotic environments and me claiming to be opriud that I “thrived”. The sad part was that-that type of environment that I learned to survive mad me feel happy because it was a familiar norm which is actually really fucken sad because its like the wife that is feeling loved by a lovefr that beats her because she is so used to being beat that she doens’t realize that its familiar trauma. It’s definitely not fucken happiness. just familiarity. No more fucken chaotic environments for this motherucker. to the contrary. I will move away from chaos the moment I sense it.

I am learning to walk slow. I was very proud of my fast walking for over 60 years. Trauma response to having to do shit ALL the fucken time.

I’m mentioning all this because I want you to reflect on your life. your situation.

Logistics

I departed Chicago and flew in to Milano. Upgrade your seat of you can. I got a more leg room update and the seat was very comfortable and wide. It was about a 9 hour flight so you need to be prepared. I downloaded some documentaries form Gaia and of course there is Netflix. My final destination was Verona which is about 100 miles east of Milan. I arrived in At Milano Malpensa International Airport. I took the train which you want to purchase tickets online or get the app. there is usually a long line at the kiosks. It is farely easy to get to the train. Just like the airport look at the screen and c heck for your destination, it will give you the track number and make sure you have a train number as well and match them. The ticket will show an icon the shape of a train with a nicer next to it. that is the carriage number because most likely you are assigned a seat. conductor will walk and check your ticket so make sure you are on the correct car number and seat. you can upgrade to get water and snack. there are a few levels or seat upgrades. My ticket had two stops I guess sas choices so I got off a stop earlier which I then got lost and ended up taking a cab to the Central train station where you can get to anywhere in Italy. The tracks are all numbered with train number and departure times. there are a few billboards all over. fairly straightforward. Getting around Verona was either walking, or the bus is very easy to use. Uber is super expensive. so plan accordingly. I will return and add more cities to Italy.

Venice: Lesson Learned

I made a two night reservation at one of Venice’s most expensive hotel because it is centrally located on the water and next to the iconic locations famously know in Venice. I spent two nights at the Hotel Danielli which is a next to Doge’s Palace and Saint Mark’s Basilica. It was on the third floor with great views and a balcony. They offered boat service transport to take me to the hotel from the train station. I met a woman on the train that said she was going to Venice and I offered a ride on the boat since it was already paid for. She accompanied me, we dropped her off. We had a short conversation about our stay and I invited her for dinner at the rooftop of Hotel Danielli. She promptly joined me and as we were sharing a meal I made sure she understood that dinner was on me. For some reason she proceeded to advise me that she was married and we were not going to have sex. I agreed and was ok with it being she was married. Well as the evening proceeded there started to be a bit of sexual energy that we could not overlook. The conversation started to head in a sexual direction and I had to tell her that unless I took her home in a boat she was going to spend the night.

She seduced me by talking about her voluptuous body and the fact that she was an exotic dancer. I succumb to her feminine energy as I was recently divorced and had been practicing celibacy but yearned for a woman’s energy. she kept saying we were not going to have sex which showed me her vulnerability and trying to shift blame if she did. Things got tense but I just couldn’t come to terms to have sex with a married woman and I rejected her.

I spent the next two days with her trying to get to know her as she was trying to get to know me yet knowing it wasn’t going to go anywhere from here. I clearly told her I don’t ever want to see her again nor speak to her. We haver no reason to. As far as I was concerned she’s a cheater. Just by giving me an opening. I went back home where I was staying and was really struggling with the whole situation. I was enfatuated with the fact that she was a voluptuous woman and I was yearning for that but at the same time I was shook up by the fact of my own actions to still be there. I felt I got sucked into a situation I did not want to participate in yet there I was. I felt guilt, shame and just shitty. I pulled out David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man which I highly recommend. It is a book about how men should comport in today’s very chaotic Westerner world of romance and relationships. I wanted to see where I went wrong and the fact was that I needed to have set my boundaries. Something I didn’t realize because the opportunity came without my anticipation. Now I had the time to reflect and understand that a superior man does get shake or move by any breeze. Just because it’s windy does not mean I sway. Yes, because or my high frequency I am attracting. I should have understood and known that at the same time this is all new territory. Lesson learned is be true to yourself. Don’t let any temptation distract you from your intention. Set you path, your pace and focus. Your human. You’re going to make mistakes. The bets part for me was that I listened to my gut and felt the pain from my mistake. I learned. I now have set boundaries so as not to get into this situation again.

Logistics

Wow! that is what Ihave today about Venice. Nothing I can share here will get anywhere close to describing it. You have togo there and see for yourself. An amazing experience. As I said. you can get there by boat. there are water taxis, water buses that travel throughout the islands around Venice so it is fairly simple. I recommend you get a day pass and examine the routes the various water buses take so that you can plan. no need to hire anyone to guide you or show you around. Venice is about 90% tourists so you are not alone. I made it my home is day. Walk the streets, go into any and all narrow streets that look like you shouldn’t go into. It is an experience. very safe and just so unique. Stop at any of many coffee shops and just sit rthoewre and sip a cup of coffee. Americano is frowned upon so expression is the cup to get. Get some pizza and gelato. they are a must. besides that there is plenty to see.