Italy
Verona Colosseum
🇮🇹 Verona: Lesson Learned
✍️ Blog Post
I took this project because it was presented at the perfect time — trusting uncertainty once again.
I had filed for divorce and we were waiting for the last few things to get settled before a court date was set. On the surface, I thought I was fine and managing my emotions. Truth is, I was on the brink of WTF!
So when this opportunity came, it felt like divine timing. A chance to distract, to redirect, but also to learn.
I asked myself: What can I learn from this?
An opportunity to travel to Italy.
An opportunity to refresh my Ayurvedic cooking skills.
An opportunity to be in a completely different world — new culture, new language — yet feel strangely at home.
The man who invited me wasn’t exactly the nicest guy in the world. In fact, everything about him told me not to go.
He was impatient, arrogant, sharp — the kind of person who used to trigger me easily.
But I went anyway.
Maybe because part of me knew it was going to be a test — not of him, but of me.
At the cooking course, he lost his patience with me a few times, and I’d heard enough about him from others to know what to expect. So I set boundaries early. I told him straight up: if he even got close to being an asshole with me, I was leaving.
He pushed my limits.
One morning, he asked me to arrive early to help because he had errands. I showed up thirty minutes before schedule, got some things done, and waited. When he arrived, the first thing he said was,
“Is that all you did?”
He asked three times.
And I just said, calmly, “Yes.”
I didn’t explain.
Didn’t justify.
Didn’t react.
The old Oscar would’ve either over-explained to earn approval or told him to fuck off.
Neither happened. I stayed still. Grounded. Present.
That was a major win.
That’s when I knew — I wasn’t the same man anymore.
Italy taught me something deeper than patience.
It taught me to slow down even more — to make moment-by-moment choices instead of reacting out of habit.
I realized I wasn’t making myself happy before; I was keeping myself busy to avoid sadness.
I confused chaos with aliveness.
That hit me hard — fucken reality check.
For decades I was proud of “thriving in chaos.” But that wasn’t thriving. That was surviving.
It was familiar.
It was trauma disguised as strength.
Just like someone who confuses abuse for love because it feels familiar — not because it’s healthy.
That was me.
No more fucken chaotic environments for this motherfucker.
The moment I sense chaos now, I move the other way.
I’m learning to walk slow.
For over sixty years, I wore my fast pace like a badge of honor — rushing everywhere, doing everything.
Now I see it for what it was: a trauma response.
Today, I walk slower.
Breathe deeper.
Think clearer.
And I’m mentioning all this because I want you to reflect too.
On your life.
Your patterns.
Your pace.
✈️ Logistics
I departed Chicago and flew into Milano Malpensa International Airport (MXP) — about a 9-hour flight.
Tip: Upgrade your seat if you can. The extra legroom is worth it. I watched documentaries on Gaia and Netflix to pass the time.
My destination was Verona, about 100 miles east of Milan.
You can easily take the Trenitalia train — buy tickets online or through the app (lines at the kiosks can be long).
Check your train number and carriage number carefully; your seat is assigned. Conductors do walk through to check.
You can upgrade for water, snacks, and comfort.
If you miss your stop, no worries — transfer at Milano Centrale.
From there, you can reach anywhere in Italy.
Getting around Verona is simple:
Walking is best.
Buses are easy and affordable.
🌊 Venice: Lesson Learned
After Verona, I made a two-night reservation in Venice — one of the most iconic and romantic cities in the world. I booked a room at Hotel Danielli, right beside Doge’s Palace and St. Mark’s Basilica. My suite was on the third floor with a balcony overlooking the water. The hotel even arranged a private boat transfer from the train station — an indulgence I allowed myself.
On the train, I met a woman traveling to Venice as well, and I offered her a ride on the boat since it was already paid for. We chatted easily, and when we arrived, I invited her to dinner on the rooftop terrace of the hotel.
Over dinner, I made it clear the meal was my treat — nothing more. Still, early in the conversation she mentioned she was married and that we were not going to have sex. I said that was fine. But as the evening went on, the energy shifted. The chemistry was undeniable, and the conversation drifted toward desire. She spoke openly about her body and her work as an exotic dancer.
Part of me — newly divorced, practicing celibacy, yet missing feminine energy — was drawn in. But another part of me stood watch.
I could feel the storm coming.
She kept saying we’re not going to have sex while simultaneously inviting the possibility. It was a dance of temptation and denial. And I realized: this was my test.
I rejected her advances. I couldn’t cross that line with a married woman.
Still, the experience shook me.
We spent the next two days talking, walking, circling the inevitable truth — that it wasn’t going anywhere. When I finally told her I didn’t want to see or speak to her again, it was blunt but honest.
Afterward, I felt conflicted — guilty, ashamed, and disappointed in myself for even being there. I wasn’t proud of the situation, even though I’d stopped short of betraying my integrity. I pulled out David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man, a book I highly recommend to any man navigating the modern world of relationships.
Reading it helped me see where I’d gone wrong.
Not in the action — but in the absence of boundaries. I hadn’t anticipated the situation, and because I wasn’t prepared, I let the energy pull me instead of standing in my center.
That’s when I realized:
A superior man doesn’t sway with every breeze.
Just because it’s windy doesn’t mean you move.
My lesson from Venice was simple but powerful: be true to yourself.
Don’t let temptation — sexual or otherwise — distract you from your intention.
Set your path, your pace, your focus.
You’re human. You’re going to make mistakes.
The key is to feel them, learn from them, and let them refine you.
No, I did not have intercourse with her. But the moment she made herself available, the lesson had already arrived.
I walked away knowing that clarity and restraint are part of true freedom.
🚤 Venice Logistics
Wow — that’s the only word that fits Venice.
Nothing I could write here would come close to describing it.
You have to go and feel it for yourself.
Venice is an experience — not a destination.
You’ll arrive by boat, and that’s where the magic begins.
There are water taxis, water buses (vaporetto), and routes connecting all the islands around Venice.
It’s simple to navigate once you understand the system.
Tip:
Get a day pass for the water buses and take a few minutes to study the routes.
It’s the easiest, most affordable way to explore — no guide needed.
Venice is about 90% tourists, so you’ll never feel lost or out of place.
I made the city my home for a couple of days.
I walked for hours — through narrow alleyways, across bridges, and into places that looked like dead ends but opened up into hidden squares or small cafés.